


Harebell (Sam)

by kathkin



Series: A Few Notes in the Song of Creation (a Lord of the Rings Dæmon AU) [8]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Daemon Separation, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:46:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: “We’re not strong like Strider. We’ll die, Mr Frodo, honest we will.”In Cirith Ungol, Sam makes a choice.





	Harebell (Sam)

**Author's Note:**

> a) Wikipedia on [dæmons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A6mon_\(His_Dark_Materials\)).
> 
> b) [Ground rules for this AU](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/174266827343/ground-rules-for-d%C3%A6mon-au).
> 
> c) See end notes for dæmon key!

“I can’t, sir, I just can’t.”

Sam held Harebell in his arms, her snout buried in his neck. A yawning darkness stood before them.

For a moment Frodo said nothing. His eyes, very big and sad, remained fixed on Sam’s. In his cupped hands he held Gentian. The little moth-dæmon sat quite still and utterly silent, every so often twitching his wings.

Then Frodo said, “Sam.”

“I’ll die,” Sam warned him.

“You won’t die, Sam,” said Frodo. “Strider went through the same thing – remember? Or near enough – he didn’t die.”

“Maybe so, but I’m not like him,” said Sam. “We’re not strong like him. We’ll die, Mr Frodo, honest we will.”

“Not die, no.” Gollum, at Frodo’s heels in a flash and leering. “Carry on, alone – like poor Sméagol.”

“I can’t ask this of you, Sam,” said Frodo. “I could never ask this of you. This isn’t a choice I could make for you – or, or for anyone. If you can’t bear it I shall go on alone.”

Sam looked at Frodo, at his big eyes and calm, uncanny dæmon. There wasn’t a trace of judgement in his voice. It was a mere statement: _I shall go on alone_. Alone without even his dæmon. It chilled the blood to think of it. Sam looked at the darkness that waited for him.

Not alone. Never alone.

Slowly, very slowly, he knelt to put Harebell down.

“No,” she pleaded. “Sam – no – you don’t want to do this.”

“M’sorry.” Sam set her on the ground and she pawed at him, nosed at him.

“Please, _please_ don’t leave me here,” she said. “This is all wrong, Sam, it ain’t natural and you know it.”

“Please don’t make it harder, Hare.” He took a hold of her long, soft ears. “Please, _please_.” He squeezed his tear-fogged eyes shut and buried his face in her soft neck. She let out a whine of sheer desperation.

He couldn’t. He’d never been a day without her, not in his whole life, and he could never be a day without her, not until he died. He choked.

“He’s too soft, master,” crooned Gollum. “Too soft, to be without his pretty dæmon – leave him out here, yes –”

“Oh, you can shut up!” Sam cried, wrenching his face from Hare’s fur. “Shut your mouth.”

There were tears in Frodo’s eyes. Fear on his face, but no shock. He’d known this was coming – or at least suspected – or at least anticipated something like it. Sam wasn’t angry, that Frodo might have kept this from him. If he’d known horrors awaited him at the top he’d never have found the strength to climb all that way.

Summoning his courage, he rose to his feet. “I’m ready.”

“You aren’t.” Harebell bucked up, putting her paws on his waist. “Please don’t go in there.”

Sam took a step forward and she lunged, grabbing at his cloak with her teeth and holding on with all her might. In her brown eyes, utter terror. Her fear reverberated through him and his back into her, anguish and acceptance.

“Let go,” said Sam. “Hare, let go.” She only dug her teeth in tighter. “Let _go_ ,” he said, and as if she were an unruly dog he pushed her away.

Harebell sat back on her haunches, astonished and aggrieved to be treated so. She looked up at him, beyond rage, beyond fear, even.

“I’ll come back,” said Sam. “I promise.”

She didn’t answer.

Raising his hands to his mouth, Frodo murmured something to Gentian and Sam heard the soft hum of Gentian’s voice. Then Frodo’s hands opened and Gentian fluttered out, a tiny pale spot against the darkness.

He settled on Harebell’s ear and whatever he whispered to her calmed her, a little.

“Sam?” said Frodo.

“I’m ready,” said Sam.

On, into the dark. Only a few steps before he could feel the strain. A few more and the strain became a burn. It would only burn harder. Beside him Frodo stumbled and Sam reached for him, holding him up.

Step by step, they went on; and when Sam looked back, the darkness had swallowed all view of Harebell and Gentian and all light.

**Author's Note:**

> Dæmons in this fic:
> 
> **Frodo and Gentian:** [pale tussock moth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calliteara_pudibunda#/media/File:Calliteara_pudibunda.jpg).  
>  **Sam and Harebell:** [red cocker spaniel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bojars%27s_english_cocker_spaniel.jpg).  
> 


End file.
